Back up and running

Here I sit in my nook looking down on to the street...life is grand the weather is becoming tolerable, and the least crazy New York season is about to begin, spring is the only tolerable weather here. Well I spent the day doing what I damn well pleased, but in the course of a phone conversation I was reminded that friends and lovers should be kept separate at all cost. Because a bitch in love male or female is blind to the world...not in a bad way but sometimes we all need to maintain borders in our life so that certain things don't mix, like a hating ass friend or a pride full partner. Any who its been a while since I've posted anything but I have some up coming events that will make for good entertainment.

P.S.

Yes tomorrow is another forced awkward gathering of family members that if given the choice I sure as hell wouldn't pick. These things always make for great topics of discussion

FREEGAN

Current Mood: Awesome...I'm a summer baby and the slightest change in weather really boost my energy

AND THE SONG GOES A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS...FREEGAN,FREEGAN,FREEGAN,FREEGAN.*set to the tune of the spider-man theme song* Guess it really doesn't come to life unless you hear it out loud, but we enjoyed skipping down the street to the tune!

So before I begin to tell about my night on the trash tour, I must say that I have known about being "freegan" or dumpster diving for some years now but never dared to deepen my knowledge on the subject. In recent days I had the opportunity to catch an episode or Oprah * cult leader almighty* and do some subsequent research on movements in the new york area. So me an my trusty side kick "Tete the Negro" http://tetethenegro.livejournal.com/ decided to take a trash tour and and luckily we had the company of an equally eccentric male friend.

I must Say that usually I'm not very moved by the Oprah show, but after a trip to Trader Joe's where carts and crates full of food that had yet to expire were being discarded my heart dropped in to my stomach...I never really thought that food could be tossed aside so freely without consideration for those who could benefit from the nutrition and compassion. So after extensive research online we meet up with a group that not only does regular "trash tours" but has freegan feast and workshops for bicycle repair! Now as down as I was to have the experience I was equally bashful in having to dig through bags in the middle of Manhattan...but with the help of my cohorts I persevered...

Highlights:

• The group way very large about 30 people at the beginning of the tour, which dwindled off as we made our way to different sights


• The range of age and class was surprising and we were not the only brown faces in the bunch


• On lookers were polite and asked questions about what and why we were going through trash


• The waste management men were very patient and appreciated the fact that we resealed bags we had opened
• We were able to offer food to someone in need


• The saddest thing out of the entire situation was the bag full of boxed cereal that had been slashed open so that no one would try to take it...*SIGH* can't even explain how sad that made me feel

To check out a more comprehensive read on the counter-culture check out http://freegan.info/

Having a very shitty day!! It seems that's the only time i feel the urge to write...As of late I have been having really good, upbeat, productive days. But there in the corner lurks a shitty monster who wants to come and shit all over my good mood...Yesterday it was my car and the alternator...spoke to an old friend caught up on life outside my head and then...my car dies *AGAIN* and when I call SOMEONE for help they scold me for having attitude versus asking me if I was okay *So I left the mutha f*#k and caught a ride home*...then today I'm all hyped to go "Freeganing" and my job calls to ask "where I'm at"..."Umm I wasn't scheduled". There response "well there's a new schedule" and your on it...*SIGH* Now granted I'm leaving this job for another one... but I feel like they are trying to sabotage me ...I have great work ethic and had no reason not to come in today beyond the fact that I was not scheduled on my "outdated" copy...Not to mention the fucking attitude of the person that called to question me. First they called from their personal line 2. I f I was trying to ditch work why the hell would I answer the phone . I pride my self in my work ethic and don't like the implication of being irresponsible in light of me leaving for a better position.

Going Freeganing... Then gonna grimace in a coffee shop while looking cool

New York's First

The tides they are a turning...let's focus on the positive in the light the weeks scandal we are going to have our first black governor! Yes Spitzer should be under psychiatric care for thinking that he would be able to get away with this shit...I mean he has to have some border line personality disorder and be a hell of a sociopath to believe this would never come out. Yes in the mist of a recession instead of tightening his belt he was spending absorbent amounts of money on high end hookers. What's wrong with a bottom bitch?! Bourgeois MF won't even help stimulate the economy..bottom bitches put in on the economy too! But yes the truly brighter side of things is that the first Black governor of New York will be Harlem Democrat David Paterson, I think we hit the trifecta...Blind ,Black, and a Democrat unfortunately he is from Harlem *kidding*. There is a tremendous amount riding on the success of Paterson;including the current primary elections which have called to question the viability of a man of color in office...My prayers are with you Paterson cuz lord knows you have a burden to carry

P.S.

I did not know that he was blind...God forgive me for my hell bound thoughts

True to The Game II...Gena

Let me start by saying I take back some of the negative vibes I sent out about this book. How ever it was over priced and lacked the depth of research on even the most familiar of topics. It was elementary in its fashion of weaving together past and present but did satisfy my need for the redundant re-telling of hood tales...Why did Teri have to go and make it a trilogy! Damn it now I have to go and read that one too! *sigh* I would have truly been satisfied with the first novel which is on a short list of "hood" or "urban" classics

• Fly Girl- Omar Tyree*


• The Coldest Winter Ever- Sister Soldier


• True 2 The Game- Terri Woods*

*Great the first time around but the second attempt fell flat

I'm very aware that there is someone that looks like me running around on post; yea I'm the new kid but I staked claims on this face and my charm years ago. the amount of people that have confused me for her is to numerous to count. As I walked and talked on my cell phone to "Tete the Negro" http://tetethenegro.livejournal.com/ and a lady stopped her car and asked if I had lost my wallet...I told her no and pointed her towards my "twins" location*SIGH* Everyone has been urging me to go and check her out because the resemblance is uncanny, we even have the same type of frames ( body type and eyeglasses). I refuse to go and hope to never run into her...I mean what if she's a ugh mug, what if my face melts off from looking into my own eyes. YES I am very vain and would have to take my own life if this chick wasn't cute. Until we meet I hold out hope that I won't be terribly disappointed

Travis Mccoy

A better day. Although my Internet was down for the day...my fault i ripped the plug out the wall and was none the wiser till after class. Well a friend in my head Travis from Gym Class Heroes posted a very interesting bloghttp://traviesblog.com/...Best wishes to my friend in my head. Oh by the by Adulthood is stressing me the fuck out, too much thinking and this paper work is making me anxious. Oh and in an attempt to cling to my girlhood I've been reading True to the Game 2...um why the hell did I love the first book? Was it because I was 14? Because it was riddled with curses and sex? Well I think I've out grown the $7 street reads *interestingly enough they have a whole section in B&N called "urban fiction" and the prices are re'dick* I tried not to vom

Too Green... Just Call Me Mr. Me Too

Tried to break out of this funk but I had very little luck. So I decided to do my weekly grocery shopping and ventured down to NoHa *giggles* to Fairway . I had never been there before but don't plan on returning...I know its by the river but damn it was cold inside that place, crowded and no one said I'm sorry or excuse me. The selection was great but if I ever decide to go back it won't be on a Sunday and it will be at night...Any whoo even though the experience exasperated my funk I couldn't resist the urge to buy another very "now" grocery bag, now granted the price range is very affordable..but still they are a status symbol attesting only to your Eco responsibility and the elitist places you can afford to shop . But I'm a sucker and bought another bag to add to my own new york pretension. So that's 2 stop&shop bags, A plan canvas bag from American apparel, my good old Barnes and nobles canvas bag, a pink light cotton bag I got from my Dominican salon *just the jump off, still loyal to my regular hair dresser* and now my blue and black Fairway bag! All that's left is a Wholefoods and Trader Joe's bag, only then will I be a cool ass New Yorker who loves mother earth

So today is ending on a craptastic note because of this craptastic rain. S o I decided to stay in and wash the dome...I've been co-washing but still felt I needed some extra help like a clarifying treatment. My scalp was dry and I have heard a little baking soda in shampoo helps, but since I wasn't using shampoo i opted for apple cider vinegar which helps to clarify...Now most people know what happens with this combination and so did I ! But who knew that shit would burn like that. I rubbed the baking soda in to my damp scalp thin rinsed it out with vinegar. Granted my scalp feels great but it was scary and the vinegar gave my hair a great luster and body...

P.S.
Next week I'm gonna try beer

He's Kind of a Big Deal...

What the hell was i thinking last night...I stayed out and about way past the several repeats of last nights finale of Project Runway 4. In scanning my DVR with hopes that I may have predicted my absent mindedness, I searched to see when the next showing of PR4 would be on ( I have the day off with the exception of a some paper work and a coffee meet up with a old friend, plan on doing what I damn well please)To no prevail its not coming on with in the next few hours and couldn't find a clip online. BIG *SIGH* so i broke down and went to Bravotv.com to find out the winner...HELD MY BREATHE...Christian WON! I knew from the beginning that he would do it, I mean he's f#*k'n fierce. He's a friend in my head and I'm so excited to watch it later on tonight...ttyl

P.S.
That friend in my head thing reminds me to catch up on my Wendy Williams...I would do so on a leisurely drive but gas is re*dick

UPDATE: S o I finally got to watch the finale and OMG...The competition was tight this year, unlike last year when my favorite Michael Knight really disappointed me with that urban safari shit( but i did love his earlier creations). I loved all the collections but my boy was good and the tears at the end made me weep a bit...like I said he's a friend in my head

and Wendy williams was sick today. I mean sick! Some porn star was on and posed the quandary about women with large behinds and how many times they have to wipe...talk amongst your selves

Random Family

The story told is nothing new to any city nor to the Bronx, which has formed many families with loose affiliation ranging from blood ties to jail allegiance, shared lovers and common down falls. I'm not sure if other neighborhoods and areas of the Bronx have such ties but Leblanc's immersion into the culture was clear in both her observations on the mundane and routine daily grind and the close ties to life lessons on womanhood poverty and entrenchment..I truly enjoyed the novel which eerily reflected the life of friends relatives and the struggle with developing womanhood in the petri dish of poverty and loveless romances... Definitely tugs at the old heart strings

Reminicing

I was born in the 80's would I be considered an 80's baby? Oh well all I know is today I longed for the good Ole days of nickelodeon and the Disney Channel...I recently have been entrenched in early 90's life having DVR'd so many episodes of living single its all I watched for weeks. But the 90's had the best theme music by far and Nickelodeon cornered the market on my heart and these songs remind me of my grandmothers basement and the floor model television set that we happily laid in front of on full bellies and open minds...A lot of the jokes were way over our heads and the plots a little advance for an 8 year old but I live for the days when I realized I was finally older than Hey Arnold

Who Knew

So I had a vegan cookie and it was craaack! Who knew maybe this vegan thing won't be so bland after all. I've had a recent obsession with anything pumpkin and have tried my hand at baking a few things ( to little success). The Alternative Baking Company has this awesome pumpkin spice cookie that I bought at Westerly natural market. its better than a "regular" cookie, moist and rich...I'm in love

Veggie

So I'm doing well on this vegetarian thing...For carrots and peas I'm cooking! and to the joy of everyone in the house I'm washing dishes as well. I was never much of a meat eater anyway...giving up pork and beef about 8 or 9 years ago. But recently I have done away with poultry and seafood, hoping to be off dairy by the end on march.

My favorite eats so far have been

black bean soup* Black Bean, Sweet Corn and Guacamole Salad* Pizza with faux-ronni, with red onions, green peppers and a whole wheat crust with home made sauce. Eggplant prepared any way. Oh and a cold pasta salad with grilled zucchini, squash tomatoes and green peppers, with some dressing .

My long time love of Chocolate soy-milk has even been shared with my very bull headed friend who is a hard sell on much anything. I've gotten off milk which was my life blood for many years but cheese and yogurt are difficult things to give up..I hope the dairy free alternatives live up to the hype.

As for now the path has been filled with nothing but pleasantries and I have learned a lot about myself and developed a more positive relationship with food. Gone are my days of 25 cent snack cakes to fill my hunger...wait G'D it those things are 35 cents now but who cares. Vegetarianism has allowed me to realize that we are what we eat...over processed and artificial or fresh and revitalizing I choose the later

Random

This past weekend was both turmoiled and intriguing. After a long battle with my inner desire to do well in school vs. my desperate need for pain killers ( horrible tooth ache) and skipping class to find a corner store and 50 cent package of aspirin and the soft couch of the Club ( work). I gained the strength to drag my self off the train and to class.

My train ride to work was smooth and I gleefully can say very interrupted. After a stranger tapped me and ask me a question about subway lines, I replied instead of shrugging off the usual new yorker interaction. We shortly after began very polite conversation ( although the pain dulled my usual charm) I mus tared a half relaxed and inviting sentiment. From what I remember his name was Shareef, I was most taken by his resemblance to a late cousin. Now my cousin who in my minds eye is eternally 18 years old was a handsome young man with sharp features and beautiful brown skin...what I remember most was his smile and the way that same light that came through in the glint of his slanted eyes...I'm healing from past to present if that makes sense..making peace with my past. I'm not sure who the stranger is or where he was going but...I guess guess the subway is funny like that

Home Sweet Home

As odd it may seem to some I am very borough centric, I love the Bronx! Although I am a very uptown type of girl ( I discovered this after I journeyed to 161st to a bar...needless to say I stuck out like a soar thumb). The borough is where my heart is and although in road rage induced rants I run down the list of vulgar slurs I love the people as well. I say all this to say that we all must become painfully aware of what is and has gone on around us. Do we want to suffer the same fate as Harlem Lovers...losing the Rich culture and historic value to the gentrification of our home town.

Life uptown is a hybrid between the hustle of the city and the greenery of a more suburban life. Unlike many other boroughs racial borders are easily blurred as multiple backgrounds occupy the same buildings, blocks and schools. The type of gentrification that I would call the power of multiples or pigeon holing has bought a host of 24 hour laundromats, beauty supply stores and fast-food restaurants to our neighborhoods. With the occasional car dealer ship or auto shop. I once had an associate who after returning home from college was gleeful about the change..commenting how nice and new everything was looking. This saddened me because it was this sentiment that will continue to bankrupt our "town" into nothing more than a rotating landscape of fast food restaurant, laundrymat, beauty supply and did I mention Check chasers.

Beware of the pale man bearing a solution to the problem that they them selves created--( Yes I my self am pale and this makes refrence solely to a system of discourse rather than a race of people)

Hot Ghetto Mess...

Hi there ho the… *sigh* BIG *SIGH*…When is that we can stop and think about the many choices we have made and why we have made them. Why did I ever date that damn fool, was Ithat bored did I like him or was I just desperate. When did I become a dirty hippie of the urban variety? Well who cares!! As I rode that luxurious iron horse to my destination, I faked interest in the play-list coming through my outdated ipod. I looked at this young woman in front of me no older then 19 years old and almost dropped a tear. I was looking at her nails; they were good quality probably a glass tip with a mediocre design. When did I become so grown that I out grew my only passion for style and aesthetic? I had long out grown the other around the way vibe that the girl was rocking, the long straight relaxed hair and layered chains and multiple rings. Was it the new grown and sexy movement ushering us all from round plump hips to straight boy thighs, from gaudy name plates to knock off juicy couture…oh dear good when will this movement end. Well it ends with me!!

Unlike many other adolescent things I was brain washed and bullied into liking, nails were my thing. Give me a glass tip with some opti-lite gel and some butterflies and I would be set, throw in some underlay of silver stars and it's a wrap. It all began with a little pink corduroy purse filled with nail polish from Claire's. No I take that back it began with my older cousin painting my nails as she watched me ( I cant call it babysitting because chances are no one was being paid and I was most often left to my own devices). From there began the love affair with nails and hands and the general aesthetic of it all, the proportion of fingers and nails, how cuticles look, and if you bite your nails forget about it. I could sit and paint and file, grease my cuticles and lotion my hands.

I miss my nails the ritual of getting them done the smell of a fresh set and the sound of nails clicking together in glee…I'm tired of looking at my fat little fingers all bald and shit naked to the

world, a dark inky purple colored nail polish. Just crying out to the world for attention, I miss my nail girl/guy…and the man with the crisp DVDs, the idle gossip of the shop, the slight buzz you get of the acetone…..

Coffee Wars

Just tap it straight into my veins! Coffee the life blood of just about every new yorker forced to

commute and deal with other highly caffeinated people. I myself began my love of coffee and

coffee drinks after learning to work a very fancy cappuccino at 16 years old...the sweet brew

allowed me to work through my junior and senior years of high school with very little sleep and

working very long shifts and still making it in time for home room.

Now as many Bronx residents know good coffee is not hard to come by, rather the overly priced

yuppie brand seems absent from the borough. The major retail StarBUCKS has a sprinkling of

stores in the Bronx a majority of which are inside other retail chains ( one of which being in the

Bronx's sole Barnes & Noble's) and the other in target ...Then there is the w225th street location

which the residents of the area don't consider to be in the Bronx, they have annexed them selves

and taken on the areas name to be just another trendy neighborhood in Manhattan ( Sorry but

look at a map Riverdale is no No-Ha)

But I digress...Today the coffee war have kicked it up a notched and StarBUCKS is closing there

doors for a few hot spot free, caffeine vein tapping hours to retrain there Batista's. Dunkin

Donuts has taken this opportunity to push their cheaper latte for 99 cents fro several hours,

even over lapping the hours that StarBUCKS will be closed ( I assumed to benefit from the over

spill of customers fighting to get back into their caffeine induced frenzy). Seeing as how I doubt

my travels will take me south of "upper Manhattan" also known as riverdale and the and the

FUCKING Bronx, I will not be able TO enjoy my fave soy latte...why doesn't DD's invest in some

some soy milk seeing as how lactose intolerance is more prevalent among people of color, and

like StarBUCKS in trendier neighborhoods DD's is dotted through out uptown neighborhoods. So

I guess I will have to settle for the Bodega Bottles of liquid crack that StarBUCKS trucks uptown.

Hope 2% milk won't kill me...ttyl

Another lazy day...Which I am very thankful for after a hellish weekend. I accomplished a lot today or rather in the wee hours of the morning, I decided to return to my regular hair routine as the weather has warmed and hat season has come to a close...I've returned to my oddly shaped but love able 'fro. After making a stop to a very cool Dominican salon(which restored my love of the highly popular scene) I returned with my tried and true goodies in a cool Lil canvas bag *so green* and proceeded to try to revive my winter dried and flat iron fried 'fro....Till another day

I've been raised already but thank you...

Ugghhh!!! or should i say AHHHHH!!! I awoke this

morning with a God awful crick in my neck

and missed out on what seemed to be a lovely day( from

what i could see from the couch).My

natural hair journey has been a long and very painful one,

with man interesting follies in the mist

of it all.There was the time i cut off every straight end i

had in sight thinking that those devilish

ends were the remnant of a long gone perm...it wasn't my

hair texture is just really funky. OR

the box braids and cornrows that the African hairbraiders hated me for because of my dense

hair and large lolly-pop like head.Or even the weave yes a weave...done my back,it was only for

a trip but i would prefer to not remember it. Hair oh hair the burden of black women and yellow

women alike( yes mo i am mello yello)

am i so vain as to base my existence on the swirls, kinks, beady beady bucks and oddly

matched straight strands that jut precariously from my scalp...? Is this the reason why black

men seem to run in opposite direction of my soft untamed fro,who knows...or better yet who

cares!! Hurt full things I've heard and observed

"What happened...you know to your hair I have never seen u look so bad!"...*someones

mom..sigh

"Your not the type of girl who should be natural, your not ugly so why do that to your self"...*a

really dumb motherfucker i use to talk to

After getting my hair pressed...

"You look so much better like this...maybe you should always keep up with/do your hair"...* i

wash my hair more than you bitch.

"Oh yes this is much better that wet curly mess u had going on"...my hair isn't wet its called

luster and no its not gel or a jeri curl

Observations...the not so obvious glances

Instead of looking at your face or your eyes they glance up at your head

At work customers... stare up at your head in disgust,half expected a "militant" angry black

women throwing food down for whitey. Then they hear my pleasant welcome and they almost

melt with approval.

Life is a strange and often uncomfortable, I would like to say that I'm brewing with self

confidence but unfortunately I'm not quite there yet. Yes I do care what people say and the

perception that others have of me. Sometimes I wonder if the glances and remarks that we

absorb into our subconscious aren't the very thoughts we have about ourselves and that these

demons I'm fighting are the battle between self-love and self-loath. For now I'm on the wagon

( metaphorically speaking) and working day by day not to give in to the stinging smell of that

creamy crack. This is getting length so I wont go further but leave you with the thought... Is it

wrong to still love my Just For Me cassette tape...I mean it was a catchy ass song

Taking a Mental Health Day

I was hoping to began my blogging days with much grandeur, my intentions were to stock pile some material and photo-journal my life for a week. Then open the flood gates so that I would have time to formulate postings before hand maybe even some research on my often unfounded but comical musings. I had so much planned for the day. this being one week of complete down time since my work load was light and school was closed for the holiday, I accomplished little beyond some much needed tidying up. The weather in new york has been ab horrible crisp and fall like one day and blistery the next. Not to mention the constant predictions of snow storms...the past two we have had, crippled the city. So I took this as a sign to enjoy the last days of solitude and chalk it up to a mental health day...and a sick day my tooth is killing me(need to get that taken care of asap). But for the time being I will re-post some rehashed blog entries from my myspace page... TTYL